Modern Vampire

2003-04-17T14:42:00.000-04:00

Thanks to snives.com for the link!

2003-04-17T14:35:00.000-04:00

The triplets helped me unpack the next day. Adam left for work at dawn, and Aghaveagh disappeared into her room. We filled up garbage bag after garbage bag of junk for Goodwill, and once we were finished, with Euphasia and Ema oooohing and aaahing over my collection of silver jewelry (none of which I could wear), the triplets took their leave and left me to my thoughts.

My thoughts weren't exactly pleasant. Even though I had free rent for six months, I still had bills left over from my previous life, and I didn't want to default on anything just because I'd been turned into a vampire. So, for want of a better thing to do, I started writing out a list of everything I needed to change in the next few weeks. The phone calls I had to make. The lies I had to tell.

Lying would be the hard part. My mother and father would see through any lie I invented, just because they knew me so well. Telling the truth was not an option. They wouldn't believe me... and if they did, I had no idea how they would react to the news that their only daughter had been turned into a vampire.

After I plugged in my phone, I hooked up my computer to the internet (dial-up!) and put in a change of address at the post office, the bank, and all my credit cards. It took a little finagling to get my boss to believe I'd had a family emergency and had been called out of town for two weeks, but I had the vacation time coming to me, and he couldn't really say no. That done, I braced myself, logged off the internet, and tried to create a likely story that my parents would believe.

Perhaps I would tell them I'd found a new job in a different city, and had to move right away. Perhaps I would tell them that my car had broken down... my apartment had caught fire... or I had run away with the circus and married an acrobat. Any of those scenarios was more believable than what had really happened.

I tried to imagine the conversation in my mind.

"Hello, Mom? I have something very important to tell you."

"Do you need money? Did that good-for-nothing boyfriend of yours beat you up?"

"I don't need any money... not yet, at least."

"Then what's wrong? You're not pregnant, are you?"

"No, Mom, I'm not pregnant. I'm..."

"Thank God for that."

"I'm not sure God had anything to do with it."

"What did you say?"

"Nothing, Mom. I'm..."

"Then what did you want to tell me, Josie? Did you get a new job?"

"Mom... remember Robert?"

"That good-for-nothing boyfriend of yours? How could I forget him? He never once came to see us. Did you two break up?"

"In a way..."

"Good. I never liked him much anyway."

"You never met him!"

"Well, I wouldn't have liked him if I had met him."

"Mom..."

"Oh go ahead and tell me, Josie. If you're not pregnant... You're not getting married?!?!?!"

"No, Mom."

"Thank God."

"Mom, Robert... Robert lied to me. He... I... damn."

"Josie, watch your language."

"Sorry, Mom. Look. I'm trying to say something that's very difficult for me to say."

"Take your time, honey. It's your dime."

"I guess I should just stop beating around the bush and say it. Robert was a vampire, Mom."

"A what?"

"A vampire. Like Dracula? You know? Fangs, stakes, sunlight, and all of that?"

"But you said you weren't seeing him anymore!"

"I'm not. But he... he turned me into a vampire, Mom."

"He did?"

"Yeah. He... claims it was to save my life, but I..."

"Your insurance should cover it, right?"

It would be a nightmare.

In the end, I cheated and left a message on their answering machine. I didn't say much, just that I had moved and didn't have my new phone number yet. But I did say I'd be in touch as soon as possible, and that I loved them both very much.

By then, morning had changed into afternoon, and afternoon into early evening. I watched the sun set from my window and felt the pull of the lives around me as my new senses emerged from hiding now that it was dark. Adam had returned while I had been agonizing over the phone call to my parents, but I didn't feel like socializing tonight.

At least not that kind of socializing. I wanted to explore my new neighborhood, drop off the bags to Goodwill, and perhaps... just perhaps, grab a bite to eat.

I had to learn how sometime, after all, if I wanted to survive.

2003-04-11T16:51:00.000-04:00

Just a note—I have yet to be able to get into my notify list to post a message, so if you join the list and don’t get anything when I update, this is the reason. Customer Support from Notifylist.com has yet to respond to my email as well. I’m going to give them another week, and then look for another provider. Does anyone have any suggestions?

And whoever thought up Daylight Savings Time was definitely not a vampire.

------------------

Even though I had a small apartment, it took us all night to cart everything away. I didn't gape when Adam and Aghaveagh's brother lifted my grandmother's china cabinet without any obvious effort and stowed it away in the back of his truck. We packed all my possessions in Aghaveagh's bag, and it never got any larger.

(I tried to remind myself to ask Aghaveagh where she got her bag when we had a moment alone, but I never got around to asking.)

Because of the fact that we were on a tight schedule, I opted to pack everything, including the dish towels. Adam didn’t protest, and Aghaveagh didn’t seem to mind. After all, I reasoned, I would have plenty of days to spend my spare time sorting through my stuff and throwing out the garbage.

I didn’t check the messages on my answering machine, even though the red light was blinking furiously.

In retrospect, I should have.

On the last run-through to make sure I hadn’t left anything hanging in a closet, I thought the shadows in the bedroom seemed a bit thicker than they had been before. As I walked across the carpet, I saw one of the shadows move.

My heart jumped in my chest. Of all the vampires, Robert was the only one who had been invited into my apartment. And I hadn’t thought to revoke the invitation.

He grabbed my arm and pushed me into the empty closet before I could shout for Adam or Aghaveagh. He covered my mouth with one hand, and twined the other through my arms, effectively pinning me against the wall.

“Do you think you’re better than the rest of us? Is that it?” His breath smelled like stale blood. “Do you?”

I froze at first, still unused to the strength of my new nature. But fear faded as soon as I realized I didn’t have to wilt under pressure anymore. I pushed him away.

He stumbled out of the closet, staring at me. His mouth worked for a moment, as if he wanted to spew his fury in my direction, but nothing passed his lips.

I folded my arms, finding courage somewhere deep inside my breast. “Robert, I never wanted to be a vampire.”

Robert straightened and swayed a little. I wondered if he was drunk. Could vampires even get drunk?

“You… That was the only way to save your life!” The anguish in his eyes chilled my soul. Goosebumps erupted on my bare arms.

And yet, I could not forgive him for what he had done to me. I had no idea how long it would take me to release the anger I held so close to my heart, but it burned brightly and warmed my flesh. “Invitations can be revoked, Robert.” I struggled to keep my voice strong, but I knew he could see how badly my hands were shaking.

His eyes narrowed. “You wouldn’t dare.”

I didn’t remember the phrase from the book, but I had my doubts it really mattered. I opened my mouth.

“I brought your car back, damn you!” Robert threw my keychain at me. I ducked reflexively. And when I straightened up, the keys in my fist, he was gone.

I walked downstairs in a daze, ignoring Adam’s puzzled query until he took me by the shoulders and stared into my eyes. “What’s wrong?”

I stared out at the shadows beyond the front door. My car sat innocently in the parking lot as if it had never left.

“Josie?” Aghaveagh moved into my line of vision. “What happened?”

I felt tears threaten to spill down my cheeks. I tried to blink them back. “Robert… Robert was here.”

Adam’s grip tightened on my shoulders. “Here?”

“Upstairs.” I tried to breath past the lump in my throat. “He… I threatened to revoke my invitation. He vanished.”

Adam glanced at Aghaveagh. She shook her head. “I didn’t sense a thing.”

“Did you revoke your invitation?” Aghaveagh asked.

I shook my head. I couldn’t seem to tear my gaze away from my car.

“I think it might be a good idea if you did,” Adam said. “He might come back and terrorize the next person who rents your apartment.”

I didn’t answer him for a long time. I think part of my numbness resulted from shock. I had yet to fully accept my new life, but I knew, deep down inside, that I had to accept it soon, or I would die.

“We’re ready whenever you are,” Aghaveagh said. Her brother waved from hood of his truck.

I thought I saw a pale smudge of a face on the other side of the street—Robert hiding in the shadows. I turned around and faced my former apartment.

“Robert, I revoke my invitation.”

I’m not sure if it worked, but Robert was gone when I turned back to face my car.

Irrationally, I hoped he would stay gone, but I had a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that I had not seen the last of him.

I didn’t know how right I was.

2003-04-03T17:53:00.000-05:00

So, since my car hadn't shown up yet, Aghaveagh, Adam, and I piled into his car and drove to my apartment. The iron in Adam's car seemed to have no affect on Aghaveagh, or maybe modern cars don't have much iron in them; I'm not sure.

I honestly didn't know what to expect when we pulled into my apartment complex. Half of me expected my place to be ransacked, but when Aghaveagh did her thing and let us in, I found everything in place. I stood and stared at the contents of my life for the longest time before I realized both Adam and Aghaveagh were waiting for me before they began packing things up.

"I... I don't have any boxes." It was a stupid excuse, I know, but packing up the contents of my apartment felt too much like going through a dead relative's possessions. In the space of a handful of days I had changed so drastically that I no longer recognized the person I once was.

Aghaveagh pulled a cloth bag from her pocket and unfolded it on the kitchen table. "Not a problem. One of my brothers will be here in about an hour to help with the furniture. Everything else should fit in this."

I wasn't so certain about that, but I didn't say anything. I was so new to this... supernatural stuff that I couldn't claim to disbelieve anything.

"If you don't mind me asking..." Adam held up a threadbare dish towel. "Do you really want all of this stuff?"

I tried to blink away the tears in my eyes, but blinking only made things worse. I sank down on a kitchen chair and buried my head in my arms. "I don't know what I want. I don't know what to do. I don't know..."

Aghaveagh said something to Adam, and I heard him leave.

"Do you want to talk about what happened to you?" Her voice was pure sympathy without an ounce of pity.

I probed the raw emotions that lurked just under the surface of my mind. "I'm not sure. I'd like to forget it ever happened, but I can't do that, can I?"

"No. You can just move on." Aghaveagh covered my hand with hers, and I felt some sort of energy pass between us. I glanced up at her. "If you dwell on negatives, you'll stagnate. You'll become a shadow of your former self. If you focus on the positives, you'll grow."

"But things are so different now!" I protested.

Aghaveagh smiled. "And yet you've survived this far."

I could not discount her words. I had survived. So far. But the road ahead looked just as difficult.

"Let's pack up your apartment," Aghaveagh suggested. "Get everything back to Carver House, and then go from there. I think you'll like living there. Change is good for a person, you know?"

"I know," I said. "But did there have to be so much change at once?"

Aghaveagh traced a symbol on the table. "Twenty-five years ago, I was exiled from Faerie for daring to stand up for something I believed in," she said. "I was expected to die, but I did not. Instead, I flourished." She flashed me a smile. "Two years ago, when they begged me to return, I refused. I had a home here. My previous life was as alien to me as your possessions are to you right now."

I took a deep breath. Her words helped, but I still felt that overwhelming panic struggling to break free of its bonds. Change is scary. "I think I'm ready now."

Although, in truth, I doubted I would ever be ready. Sometimes, change doesn't wait around for you to get used to the idea. It forces you to act, even if you don't want to.

I followed Aghaveagh out of the kitchen, and prepared to pack.

2003-04-01T21:45:00.000-05:00

Okay, time to 'fess up.

I'm not really a vampire. Everything you've read in this blog is made up, by me. It's fiction, not fact. As far as I know, there's no such thing as vampires. I don't drink blood, I'm not violently allergic to sunlight, garlic, or certain types of wood...and I couldn't resist. Check the date.

April Fool's. :)

(I will post more thursday.)

2003-03-29T11:50:00.000-05:00

Yes, yes, I know I've been absent for a while, and I apologize for not updating regularly. Hopefully now that everything's settled down I will return to a regular schedule.

And on we go...

I spent the day in my new apartment using a borrowed sleeping bag and an embroidered pillow from one of the downstairs sofas. From what I remembered after reading that book, vampires didn't have to sleep during the day, but I was too exhausted from the night's events to try to stay up. I slept like the dead (pardon the pun) until midnight the next night.

When I awoke, I discovered that someone had been in the apartment while I slept. The spiderwebs were gone. A faded upholstered chair from the library stood under the window, which had been covered with a heavy shade.

I peeked out, relatively certain it was full dark. My window looked out onto the backyard, and I could see the little white house quite clearly. It still looked out of place.

A knock on the door summoned me into the living room again. I opened the door without thinking, and found a thin blond girl standing on the other side. She pursed her lips and looked me up and down.

"You're the vampire?"

"Evidently so." Was this Camilla? Or Aghaveagh the fairy? Or someone else entirely? "I'm Josie."

The girl smiled. Somehow, I didn't think she fit the bill of "wannabe vampire." Wannabe vampires probably wore black velvet, for all I knew, not a faded pair of jeans and a Brian Froud t-shirt. "I know. Adam told me. I'm Aghaveagh."

"Oh, the fairy," I blurted without thinking.

"Yes." Aghaveagh didn't look like a fairy. At least, not how I would expect a fairy to look. "You were expecting, perhaps, Tinkerbell?"

"Something like that," I admitted, embarrassed.

"Don't worry. Everyone does." She smiled again. "Sometimes it's better that way."

We stood at an impasse for a moment, while I tried to figure out what to say to a fairy without admitting my ignorance.

Aghaveagh finally held out her hand. We shook. "Welcome to Carver House. Kelly..." She rolled her eyes. "Now I sound like Harriet. Adam asked me if I'd help you move."

"Move?" Oh, right. My apartment. My things. That life seemed so distant now. "Oh, yeah."

"I've heard it takes a while to get used to all of the changes," Aghaveagh said. "Don't worry. You'll be fine."

I certainly hoped so.

2002-12-03T18:45:00.000-05:00

I'm sure you're all gone by now, but at least I have a good excuse. My computer went belly-up, and I just now had enough money to buy a new one. I haven't been on the internet in months! Hotmail even closed my email account in my absence.

But I'm back now. I have some things to clean up, and then I will continue the story...

2002-09-19T11:23:00.000-04:00

Okay. I'm back, and this time for good! (I will explain later, when I get to that part.) Look for an update over the weekend.

2002-09-19T11:21:00.000-04:00

The library was everything a girl like me could dream of. Leather bound volumes shared space with modern paperbacks, and every bookcase sagged under the weight of books. I could have spent the rest of my life happily enscorled in one of the library chairs, reading to my heart's content.

Harriet sat in a faded velvet chair, her hands folded primly in her lap. A manila envelope sat on the table beside her chair, and the Art Nouveau lamp--a Huntress, I think, like Diana--cast a warm glow over the cozy corner of the room.

"Thank you, Kelly. You may go."

Adam cast me a disparaging glance as he left my side. I bit my cheek to keep from laughing.

"Sit down, child." Harriet opened the folder and took out a sheaf of papers. "We have much to discuss."

I can't go into detail about our conversation--one of the things tenants have to sign is a confidentiality agreement--but I can say that I was very impressed by Harriet's questions. She didn't pry, but the questions she asked probably garnered her more information than I would have thought to give.

Two hours passed in an instant. Although I'd should have been exhausted, I was wide awake. I didn't know it at the time, but one of the advantages of being a vampire (and there aren't really that many of them) is the fact that I just don't get very tired anymore. I sleep--we all do, I think--but only for a few hours every other night or so. But I digress.

After the interview, Harriet showed me the apartment. And I fell in love.

I had always been a practical sort of person. Robert was an anomaly--and what an anomaly!--in my life. I had always wanted to be cool and unique, but I settled for mundane practicality. I didn't have that option anymore.

Imagine, if you will, a tall, oak door, heavy enough to withstand the efforts of three vampires (yes, I know this for a fact.) The hallway outside is faded, with a genteel air of a bygone era. The sepia photographs on the walls only add to that feeling. The antiques that fill the house... well, some of them would put museums to shame, but others are the more useful antiques, those that are well-loved.

I opened that door and walked into a large living room with cream colored walls. The floors were hardwood and worn, but didn't creak as I walked across it. There was a fireplace with an ornate tiled mantel against one wall, and a chandelier hanging from the ceiling.

Harriet made a face at the spiderwebs on the chandelier. "Obviously we need to clean a bit before you move in, but..."

I didn't answer her. I was too entranced. I drifted through the living room and peeked into a bedroom that was twice the size of my bedroom in my apartment. The second bedroom was smaller, but still larger than the one I had now.

The bathroom had tile on the floor that matched the tile on the mantle, and a claw-footed tub that a person could drown in. The toliet was one of those old-fashioned kinds with the pull chain, and the sink looked like it belonged in a museum, with a delicately patterned mosaic made from vivid blues and greens. And the mirror over the sink complemented the royal blue tiles of the sink and showed my stunned reflection quite clearly.

There was no kitchen; the residents used the communal kitchen. And the apartment had only one window in the second bedroom. Even without natural light, it seemed airy and huge.

The question I didn't want to ask was on the tip of my tongue. I glanced at Harriet and cleared my throat. "How... how much is the rent here? I..."

Harriet glanced up from writing something on the packet of papers she had carried with her. "Didn't Kelly tell you?"

"N-no." Oh, I wanted that apartment so badly. It screamed me at the top of its lungs. I braced myself for disappointment.

"Oh, well, then. The first six months are free, in exchange for helping out around the house." Harriet pulled out a single piece of paper. "Little repairs and such, until you get on your feet." And then she named a price that was a hundred dollars less than what I currently paid. "There's parking out front; you saw that. Do you have a car?"

"I... I think so," I said, numb with shock. "I did, at least. I'm not sure where it is right now."

Harriet waved her hand. "Kelly can help you find it. In fact, it might be a good idea for him to help you move as well."

"He doesn't have to do that," I whispered. "Did you say... free?"

"All you have to do is sign on the bottom line," Harriet said, smiling at me. "I think you'll like it here."

In a daze, I signed my name, and for the first time in my life, didn't bother to read either the contract or the fine print.

That has been both a blessing and a curse, to be honest.

2002-09-09T17:59:00.000-04:00

I am still here.

I hesitate to tell you what's going on right now, since I'm not yet up to the present yet. It will suffice to say that a certain... someone... found this blog and now I have half the vampires in the city out for my blood.

I will admit, they asked nicely first. But when I refused to stop posting, they got a little nastier. Luckily, living in Carver House has quite a few advantages. Whoops, I got a bit ahead of myself there... We have the electricity back on now, at least. And the broken windows have been boarded up. And no one died. That's a plus in itself.

I will not be silenced. I think vampires need to come out of the coffin, once and for all.

I'll try to update tonight.

2002-08-23T20:25:00.000-04:00

Okay! Check out The story so far... I think it looks nice. I even caught some spelling mistakes I didn't catch the first time.

And here is the button the other Josie made for me! All you have to do is right click on it to save it to your computer, then upload it to your webpage and link to Modern Vampire from your webpage or blog... (if you want to, that is.) And let me know. I will link to you as well.

And of course it's going to rain, so I think I'm going to turn off my computer and watch the storm.

2002-08-23T19:22:00.000-04:00

Sorry for the absence of posts, everyone. I have been really busy. I do have some good news, though... I will be putting up some more links later on, and I've been offered webspace if I want to keep my story together in order (so new people reading this don't have to read backwards.) I also have a button graphic that another Josie made for people to use to link to my site as well.

So I will be busy updating the template tonight. I will try to update again this weekend, and then I'm going to try to get on a regular schedule for updates. (And my comments keep vanishing. I think they're having server problems or something. So email me if you have a question!)

2002-08-23T19:15:00.000-04:00

A narrow mudroom opened up into a cluttered kitchen almost double the size of the bedroom in my apartment. Pots and pans hung from a metal contraption screwed into the ceiling, and dusty bottles of dried herbs lined narrow shelves set into the far wall. The cabinets were royal blue, but faded and worn, giving the kitchen an almost festive air. Above the sink hung a stained glass lamp, its multicolored panes reflecting a rainbow off the dull cream walls. A door--painted grass green--led to a pantry, and another door--this one lavender--led to the rest of the house. I smelled chocolate chip cookies baking, but I had lost my desire for chocolate. (Just a small aside: I think this is the worst part of being a vampire.)

In the middle of the room stood an antique cherry table that had seen better days. Three little black haired girls stood around the table, one reading from a cookbook, one carefully measuring ingredients, and one industriously cracking eggs into a mixing bowl. Although the table was covered with spilled ingredients, their frilly white dresses were spotless. I was impressed.

"Girls, I'll be in the library with Josie if you need any help with the oven," Harriet trilled, patting the nearest one on the top of her head.

The little girl glanced at her. "Kelly can help us."

"It's Adam," Adam/Kelly sighed. "Josie, meet Ema, Deidre, and Euphasia."

I couldn't tell them apart, and neither could Adam, evidently. All three girls collapsed into giggles.

"I'm Ema," the closest one said. She pointed to the child on her left. "That's Euphasia."

"So you must be Deidre," I said to the other one, but she ducked her head and concentrated on her cookbook.

"Deidre's a little shy," Euphasia stage-whispered.

"Don't you have to go to school tomorrow?" I asked.

They collapsed into giggles again. With a glower, Adam took my elbow and led me out of the room. Harriet had vanished into the darkness.

"I know you're new at this, but..." Adam shook his head. "Didn't you notice their legs?"

"Their legs?"

"Or lack therof?"

I stared at him. "What are you talking about?"

"Every person in this house..." He growled under his breath. "Let Harriet tell you. She's better at this than I am."

I shook off his grip and folded my arms. "Why don't you tell me?"

"Think about it. Have you ever heard of a parent naming their child Euphasia in this day and age?"

"No, but that doesn't mean..."

"Did their clothes seem a bit odd to you?" He stepped close to me and I stepped back. "Did they smell strange at all?"

"I don't know," I snapped. "How do little girls usually smell?"

He bit back a scathing retort and sighed. "Ema, Deidre, and Euphasia have been dead for one hundred and twenty-four years, Josie. I'm a werewolf. Harriet is... well, Harriet woke up one morning and decided she didn't want to die. Ever. There's a bogeyman living in the basement and a fairy in B." He ticked the various denizens of the house off his fingers. "I live in D, Stan--who is technically a zombie, but you can't really tell--lives in F. The girls haunt the common kitchen, and Dr. Lawry haunts the upstairs bathroom. You'll want to watch where you decide to take a bath."

My mouth dropped open. I forced it closed.

"Not to mention Camilla, who wants to be a vampire, Larry, whose sole mistake in life was to be in the wrong cemetary at the wrong time on a full moon, and Tabitha, who you might see around if you stay here long enough."

"So... every person living here isn't human?" I couldn't keep track of all the names.

"Every person living here, except for Carl--the bogeyman--and Aghaveagh--the fairy--were human at one time or another. Camilla's still human, as far as I know. If you stay here, you might want to avoid her. She's... rather persistent."

"Kelly, please escort Josie into the library." Harriet's voice had a strangely electronic echo.

Adam pointed to a small black box on the wall. "The entire house has an intercom system. It helps with security."

"Security?" The house was in a bad part of town, but surely no one would be so stupid to attack a house full of supernatural creatures.

"There are hunters," Adam said. "This way, if the walls are breeched..."

Hunters? I remembered reading something about vampire hunters in the book that had gotten me into this mess. I realized I would have to find a copy of it somewhere, since no one had offered to give me one. Would I be safer surrounded by humans or safer surrounded by others like me? The house felt like home, even though I had yet to see the vacant apartment.

"Harriet will explain everything to you," Adam said. "And if you decide not to stay and it gets too close to dawn, I'll drive you home."

I stared at him. "Why would you want to do that?"

Adam shrugged. "I know how you feel. I spent the first week I was a werewolf alternating between pure terror and wishing I had died."

"How old were you?" I asked.

He hesitated. "Seventeen."

As he led me down the hall to the library, I tried to imagine how it would feel to be a werewolf in high school. The resulting images kept me entertained until we reached our destination.

2002-08-14T22:24:00.000-04:00

Of course he was a werewolf. Of course.

I stood on the sidewalk and debated whether to follow him inside. One part of me wanted to turn around and forget I ever saw the "FOR RENT" sign. The other, larger part wanted to see just what this strange house--with a werewolf!--had to offer.

I inched along the fence until I reached the gate. Did I dare venture inside?

"Are you coming or not?" Adam Green stepped out onto the largest porch and held open the front door. Warm light poured out, casting him in shadow so I could not see the expression on his face. "I don't have all night."

Another, taller shape stepped up beside him. "Oh, yes you do, Kelly. Now leave the child in peace."

"Kelly?" My lips twitched. "Your name is Kelly?"

"I go by Adam," he snapped. "Are you coming?"

"Kelly Green?" Perhaps it was delayed hysteria, but I could not stop the laughter that burst from my lips. "Kelly Green?" I sank down against the fence and sobbed.

Footsteps crunched in the dead leaves that covered the path. An arm settled across my shoulders, and I smelled lilacs wafting from the woman who drew me close.

She cradled my head against her chest. "Hush, child. Hush."

My tears left spots on her velvet gown. "I'm n-not a child."

"Of course you're not." She did not let me go. "You're a beautiful young lady."

That made me laugh. "Sure I am."

"Would you like to come inside?" I saw her clearly for the first time when I drew away from her embrace. She looked human, but then again, so had Adam/Kelly. Her white hair was drawn up in an untidy bun, and her eyes were bird-bright behind thin lenses. "My name is Harriet Carver. I own the house behind you."

"Carver House." I'd actually heard of the house in some distant past. It was a landmark, something akin to the Winchester House in San Francisco. But I couldn't remember the details.

Harriet smiled. "Yes."

"And the sign?" Adam had made such a big deal about it, but I wasn't convinced it meant anything at all.

Harriet pursed her lips. "It would be much more enjoyable to answer your questions indoors, but I suppose one or two won't hurt." She settled on the ground beside me with no apparent effort. "The sign only appears to the proper person, for want of a better word."

"The proper person?"

"The right person for the apartment, I suppose."

"That's an odd way to choose tenants," I said.

"Yes, but the signs have never been wrong." Harriet smiled at me. "And you saw the sign."

"But I'm..." a vampire, I wanted to say, but I couldn't force my lips to form the words.

Harriet patted my hand. "Yes, dear. We all have our little problems." She struggled to her feet and dusted off her dress. "Why don't you come inside and meet the others? Then you can decide if you want to stay or go."

I had nowhere else to go. I stood on weak legs and stared at the brooding house. "But I..."

"I know, dear." She patted my hand again. "Come inside. Please."

I followed her inside.

2002-08-14T18:18:00.000-04:00

And now I don't know what happened to my counter... it seems to have vanished. Hmm.

2002-08-11T19:35:00.000-04:00

I have over 400 hits! Wow. I would like to add some links here, so if you've put up a link to Modern Vampire, please let me know so I can return the favor!

2002-08-11T18:54:00.000-04:00

I found a house.

Or, rather, what seemed to be an assortment of many large, brick houses, all squished together like a child's clay creation. It sat by itself behind a rusty wrought iron fence, a derelict of gothic splendour.

I walked around it, keeping close to the shadows. The "FOR RENT" sign was repeated here as well; tied onto the gate with discolored twine.

The entire concoction took up almost an entire block. A tiny white house with a picket fence and birdfeeders out back was its sole neighbor, stuck onto the edge like a stubborn pimple.

I walked around the entire perimeter, counting doors as I went. Seven doors, but only four porches. Too many windows to count, but some of them had been bricked over and others were covered by sagging shutters. Light shone from eight of the windows. The rest were dark. I assumed the cars parked along the curb were the inhabitants of the house--a BMW, a Neon, two SUVs, a truck that looked like it was held together with spit and a prayer, a battered Jeep, and an odd tiny car that didn't look familiar at all. My little Geo Metro would fit right in.

Gnarled oak trees clustered at the far end of the grounds, and a group of seven tombstones completed the eerie display. If it wasn't for the little white house with the birdfeeders, the entire concoction would have been right at home in a Lovecraft story.

As I approached the front gate, a car crept down the street and pulled into one of the empty spots near the front of the house. A man emerged, carrying a battered leather suitcase. He wore dark colors, including a hat that covered most of his face. I couldn't see him clearly in the darkness, but I thought he took out a key and used it to open the gate.

But he did not step inside. I watched, safe in the shadows, as he raked his eyes over the sidewalk and the parked cars. Searching for something. For me?

I heard him sniff the air. Or maybe he just had a cold.

"You might as well come out; I can smell you a mile away," he said a moment later, staring directly at my hiding place. He removed his hat and ran his hand through thick, dark hair.

I stepped into the light of the only streetlamp. "Sorry to lurk. I saw the sign, and I thought..."

He stared at me. For a moment, I mistook his gaze for unfriendliness, but then I realized it was merely disbelief. "You have to be kidding me."

I glanced back at the empty sidewalk. "Excuse me?"

"You saw the sign." He pointed to it, as if I could miss it.

"Yeah." Did I really want to live near this guy? "I saw the sign. I was on my way home, and I..."

"Oh, spare me." He tore the sign off the gate and wadded it up into a little ball. "I can't believe this!"

"What?"

He laughed. It wasn't a very nice laugh. "You saw the sign."

I crossed my arms in front of my chest, more a defensive gesture than anything else. "Look. I've had a really long night. It's obvious you don't want me here, so I'll just go away and leave you alone." I turned my back on him.

I couldn't see him, but that didn't mean much. I could hear his heart beat if I concentrated hard enough, and I sensed both anger and amusement from him.

"Wait a minute!"

I kept walking. Fear and uncertainty boiled in my stomach. I'd return to my apartment, then, get another key, and look for a night job. Somewhere.

"Wait!" I heard his footsteps slap against the sidewalk. He caught up with me a moment later and grabbed my arm. "Hold on. Harriet will kill me if I let my personal feelings get in the way. You saw the sign?"

I shook him off. It was easier than I thought it would be. He seemed surprised, and backed away.

"I saw the sign. But if you think I'm going to go anywhere with you after..."

He held up his hands. "Wait a minute. Please. Can't we start over again?"

I stopped walking. Tears blurred his face as he approached, and I could finally see him clearly as soon as I blinked them away. Tall, dark, and handsome... he could have been a model with his thick black hair and chiseled features. But something about him reminded me of Robert. I stepped back. Was he a vampire too?

"Look. I'm sorry I reacted that way. My name is Adam Green."

I narrowed my eyes. "Josie MacDonald."

He smiled. I ordered my heart not to melt. "Well, then, Josie MacDonald. You're looking for a place to rent, and you saw the sign. Harriet will want to speak with you."

"I don't..." The fear and uncertainty had never quite left. My voice wobbled. "I don't have..." Look, I wanted to say. I'm going to be out of work as soon as I call in. I don't have any savings to live off of, and I don't have a deposit, or the first month's rent. My boyfriend turned me into a vampire and ruined my life. I don't think Harriet really wants to talk to me.

Adam Green took my arm again, but gently this time. "Just come with me and talk to Harriet. Please." He hesitated. "I'll even... I'll even invite you in."

I stared at him in shock. "What did you say?" Was it that obvious?

He sighed. "I'll invite you in, okay? I don't usually do this, but I'll make an exception in your case. You saw the sign."

I pulled away from him. "I think you need to explain a couple things to me before I go anywhere with you."

"How long have you been a vampire, Josie?" He would not meet my eyes.

"Less than a day, I think." It bothered me that I didn't really know. "Are you... are you a vampire too?"

Adam Green laughed. "Hell, no. I'm a werewolf."

And with that parting shot, he left me on the sidewalk and vanished from my sight.

2002-08-10T22:43:00.000-04:00

There is now a notify list for Modern Vampire. Please join up so you don't have to keep checking back here to see if I've updated or not.

I'm hoping to be able to update again tomorrow. I'll cross my fingers on that one, though.

And again, if you have any questions at all, don't hesitate to send me an email.

2002-08-10T22:40:00.000-04:00

I'd never been out in the city at night. As I walked towards my apartment, I saw more people than I expected. Homeless men and women with their possessions in rusted shopping carts congregated around the fountain downtown, sleeping on the very benches the corporate executives had lunch on during the day.

I'm sure I saw drug deals, and probably a prostitute or two, but I didn't pay much attention and they left me alone, for the most part. My biggest concern was that my purse had vanished, along with the keys to my car, the keys to my apartment, my wallet, and everything else. I had no idea how I intended to get into my apartment, much less what I would tell my boss in the morning.

Sorry, I can't come into work today. No, I'm not sick. I'm a vampire. Somehow, I didn't think he would believe me. I hated to quit without giving the proper notice, but I couldn't walk in sunlight anymore. I remembered that much from the book. No sunlight meant no day job. No income. How would I pay rent?

I thought I understood why Robert and the others lived together in the old school. No rent, no nosy neighbors... I tried to imagine what Mrs. Irving would have to say about my new hours. Perhaps she would use the key I'd given her for emergencies to open the door one afternoon and burn me to a crisp.

I hated the thought of moving, but I had no true choice. Robert knew where I lived, after all, and I didn't trust him to leave me alone. I would have to move, get a new job, and manage to do all of this without stepping out into sunlight or getting myself killed. How could I get a job interview at night?

As I walked through the worst part of town, I thought I heard an echo of footsteps behind me. I almost turned around, but fear--leftover human fear strangled what little courage I had left. I walked faster. The footsteps behind me sped up to match my pace.

It could have been an echo, yes, but I was too much of a chicken to turn and look. I stuck to the sidewalk, passing under faded yellow streetlamps, then ducked down an alleyway to wait for my purser to appear. He never did, but as I turned to glance down the alley, I saw a small, faded "FOR RENT" sign with an arrow pointing left into a great maw of darkness.

It was karma. With one last glance at the empty street, I followed the arrow. And found...

2002-08-02T23:11:00.000-04:00

I'd love to get rid of these ads...

And I've been wasting time this evening doing this...

2002-08-02T22:56:00.000-04:00

They tried for elegance, but since the dining room was the former cafeteria, one could only do so much.

A pitted, heavy table dominated the middle of the room and candelabras stood at the four corners, casting a sickly glow upon the proceedings. The first person I noticed was a little girl; no more than eight. She sat primly in a straight-backed chair, her red hair tousled and unbrushed. She wore cutoff shorts and a t-shirt advertising a local brewery.

The others were formally dressed. At the head of the table sat an older gentleman in a three piece suit. He wore his silver hair swept back from his brow to cover his bald spot. At his right, a woman with skin so dark she seemed to fade into the shadows. She smiled at me, her teeth blindingly bright. She wore a black velvet gown. Her hair glittered with silver beads.

The rest of the chairs were empty. If there were fifteen vampires living in the building, most of them had decided to skip dinner.

"Josie." The little girl had a lilting, almost Irish accent. "We were worried you wouldn't come." She smiled at me. "I'm Laurel." She pointed to the man at the head of the table. "Alden." And the woman. "Denise."

"Hello." I was very proud that my voice didn't squeak. "I'd like to say it's nice to meet you, but..." I shrugged.

Robert made a noise behind me. I ignored him in favor of Alden. "Are you in charge here?"

Alden's eyes glinted. "As much as any of us can be in charge."

"I'm not staying here," I said. "You can't force me to stay here."

Denise opened her mouth, glanced at Alden, and shut it again. I wondered what she'd wanted to say.

"You're right. We can't force you to stay with us." Alden shrugged. "It's your decision. Life on the outside..."

"Josie, you don't know what you're doing," Robert said. "Everything's different now."

"Thanks to you," I snapped. "I'm not going to hide out in a moldy old building, Robert. I'm not going to let my parents think I'm dead."

"But you can't..."

Alden held up his hand. Robert subsided, still glowering at me. "She'll learn, soon enough. I believe you were similarly inclined when you were young?"

Robert flushed. "I was a fool."

"Every newborn vampire can afford to be a fool once or twice," Alden said. "No one will force you to stay here, Josie. But if you leave... If you leave, we might not allow you to return."

The thought wasn't entirely repungant. "That's fine."

"You have no idea what you're doing!" Robert growled. "Did I save your life for nothing?"

I crossed my arms. "As far as I'm concerned, you didn't save my life."

Laurel laughed, a bright peal of mirth. "That's not how Robert sees it!"

He glowered at her as well.

"What time is it?" I asked.

"Just past dusk." Alden smiled. "I imagine you're anxious to leave."

"Alden!" Something in Robert's voice finally got through to me. I turned to look at him, both frightened and confused. Why did he care so much?

Alden sighed. "Very well. I'll give you one chance to return to us, Josie MacDonald."

"I won't need it, but thanks," I said with more confidence than I felt. I wanted to be alone, to decide for myself what to do.

No one tried to stop me as I walked out. I half-expected them to; Robert followed me to the front door and Jade walked out with me, but no one tried to stop me at all.

Jade pressed a folded piece of paper into my hand. "Good luck. Call me if you need anything."

I met Robert's eyes. "I'm not going to say thank you for what you did to me." Not yet, at least.

His smile twisted. "Somehow, I didn't expect you to." He hesitated. The smile dropped from his lips. "Yes. Good luck. I doubt we'll be seeing each other again." He turned and vanished back into the building.

I stood in the parking lot for a little while and tried to orient myself. The lights of the city colored the sky above me, and streetlights cast a welcoming glow across broken sidewalks.

This wasn't the best part of town to walk in at night. I felt a thrill of fear, but it didn't last for long.

I was a vampire, after all. What did I have to be afraid of?

2002-08-02T22:25:00.000-04:00

When it rains, it pours.

I truly have no excuse this time. I just haven't been online very much since my last post. I really must make a schedule for this if I'm going to keep this up. I have email to answer as well. Bear with me.

Now. Where were we? Ah, yes.

2002-07-25T19:15:00.000-04:00

Some answers to questions I've received:

I've never watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer. My taste for horror kind of died the day I did.

I don't like to drink blood. I have to drink blood. Pick your least favorite food, and imagine eating or drinking it 24/7. And then ask yourself why more vampires don't live past 100.

I've had a couple of people ask me how to become a vampire. Well, dumb luck in my case, as you can see from my ongoing story. Don't ask me to, because I'll refuse. And no, I won't give you Robert's number.

And I haven't seen The Queen of the Damned, but I did read the book.

2002-07-25T18:51:00.000-04:00

The others.

The thought alone conjured up scenes from every horror movie I'd ever watched, but I wasn't the clueless heroine about to embark on a fatal journey. I'd been turned into one of the monsters.

Robert didn't speak to me on the way to the dining room. In fact, he seemed to be distancing himself from me as much as he could, as if he was truly embarrassed to be with someone so unfashionably dressed.

It hadn't mattered to him what I wore before. I saw no reason why it should matter now. With my head held high and my fear buried deep, I followed him down the dimly lit hall.

I still had no idea where we were. The room I'd awakened in had seemed like a typical bedroom, but the walls on either side were not as well-kept. Crumbling brick showed through mouldy plaster, and the occassional doors were cracked and warped in their jambs.

"This used to be a school," Jade said from behind me, as if reading my thoughts. "The city sold the building to... to Alden twenty years ago, and we've lived here since."

Rot and mildew hung thick upon the air. I fought back a sneeze. "You live here?"

"We all do." Robert's voice fell flat on my ears. "You will as well."

That didn't sound like I had much of a choice in the matter, but I held my tongue--for now. I had no desire to get into a shouting match with him until I knew exactly where I stood. But I already knew I did not want to live here. It was dull, dreary, and damp. The floors creaked beneath our feet. Broken flourescent lights glittered above us like the facade of stars.

We stepped carefully around piles of debris--old desks, waterlogged textbooks, a battered lunchbox--and made out way down a filthy flight of stairs. Our footsteps echoed off the silent walls around us, and awoke old echoes of the school's previous incarnation.

I thought I heard a child laugh somewhere in the empty halls.

"How many people live here?"

"Fifteen," Jade replied. "You'll meet them all tonight."

"There are only fifteen vampires in the entire city?" I'm not sure why it shocked me so much; I suppose I expected them to be more numerous, now that I was one of them.

"Fifteen of ours," Robert said. "There are other vampires. You'd do best to avoid them."

There was so much I did not know. "But what about my apartment? My job?" What would I tell my family?
"You don't need a job anymore," Robert said. "And we'll move you out of your apartment."

"Move me out?" Suddenly, I didn't want anything to do with Robert's vampires or this dinner. I stopped halfway down the stairs. "Wait a minute. I didn't ask to be one of you, Robert. You can't just expect me to vanish and let my parents think..."

"We all had to do it, Josie," Jade said. "I understand. It's hard."

I shook my head. "I'm not going to do it."

Robert turned to glare at me. "You don't have a choice. None of us did. You can't involve your family. You'll end up getting all of us killed."

I folded my arms. "No way."

"Josie!" His face flushed. "What do you think you'll do? Beg off every time they want to see you during the day? How will you explain that you can't go out in sunlight? How will you explain that you can't eat with them anymore?"

I couldn't answer him. I hadn't thought that far ahead. "I'm not going to allow my parents to think I'm dead, Robert. I can't do that."

"When's the last time you saw your parents?"

"Two weeks ago." Anger washed away the rest of my fear. "I invited you to come, remember? We went camping." You said you had to work, liar. What would I have done if I'd found that book earlier? Would I still be in the same position as I was in now?

"Do you think you'll ever be able to go camping again?"

"No. But I refuse to let my parents think I'm dead." I gestured to the decaying building around me. "And I'm not going to live here, either."

"You won't survive a week on the outside," Robert snapped. "Things are different now, Josie."

Boy, were they. "I'm very aware of that, thanks to you."

Robert flushed again. "I already told you..."

"Dinner," Jade said. "Let's go to dinner. We can talk about Josie's future after we eat."

Oh, hell. I closed my eyes. "I don't want to go."

In the end, Jade took one arm, Robert took the other, and they marched me down the rest of the stairs and into what had once been the cafeteria.

To eat. With vampires.

I truly didn't know what to expect.

2002-07-21T22:19:00.000-04:00

I just found something called Blogsnob, which might bring a few more readers here...

2002-07-21T18:55:00.000-04:00

Robert's punishment had not been physical, for he looked no different than the night I died. I suppose the others could have beaten him, but a vampire heals so quickly it's almost useless to do such a thing.

He stood in the doorway for the longest time, staring at me, his face a careful mask of shadows. I didn't know how I felt about him by then. Part of me was grateful he had saved my life, but the other part, the part still screaming after my lost humanity, wanted to throttle him right then and there.

"Robert."

"You're not dressed." He wore a black tux with a black shirt, no color at all save for his eyes. His hands fidgeted at the cuffs of his jacket. "Jade, did you..."

Jade smiled. "She didn't like the dress."

"But the others..."

"The others won't care."

Robert slumped against the doorjamb, defeated. "Very well. Josie, may I?"

I glanced at Jade, who cocked a raven eyebrow at me. "May you what?"

"Lead you to dinner." Impatience flashed across his face. "The others would like to meet you."

Dinner? With a bunch of vampires? Although I would have been horribly uncomfortable in that dress, I wondered if I should have worn it anyway. Jade had found a slinky gown that matched her eyes. Robert wore a tux. And I intended to go to dinner wearing jeans?

I hardened my resolve. I hadn't asked to be there, after all. This wasn't my choice. "I can lead myself, thank you."

Robert stared at me. "Are you still angry about last night? How many times do I have to explain? That was the only way to save you!"

"I'm sure it was, but I'd rather lead myself." I stood. Bubbles of panic burst in my stomach and tried to force me to give up whatever I had eaten last, but I swallowed hard and fought it back. Going to dinner with a bunch of vampires? Was I crazy? What would they make me drink? My mind swam with visions of white-clad virgins and fresh blood. My knees sagged.

This time, Jade caught me. "I'm not sure she's ready for this..."

I shook her off and fought down the panic again. "I'm ready." My voice cracked. "I'm ready. Let's go." I pushed past Robert and let anger carry me halfway down the hall until I realized I had no idea where I was, or where to go.

"Follow me," Robert said with an odd catch in his voice. "Jade will be behind you at all times."

For protection? I dearly wanted to ask, but I wasn't certain I wanted to know the answer. Holding tightly to my courage lest it slip away, I followed Robert to where the others waited.

2002-07-21T18:36:00.000-04:00

Being a vampire is one thing, but in my line of work, I should have expected that I wouldn't be able to update this as frequently as I had hoped. My apologies for those of you waiting for replies to email; I haven't forgotten and I will attempt to answer your questions as soon as I can.

I've been out of town without email or web access since before dawn on Friday. There are some strange things going on right now, and I can't blame them all on the almost-full moon. Once I get through the past and into the present, you'll understand, but until then, bear with me.

2002-07-17T10:07:00.000-04:00

I now have comments. I also have email to answer, and I'll try to get to those later on this afternoon.

2002-07-16T19:43:00.000-04:00

He might have caught me, but I woke up on the floor. I opened my eyes, winced against the bright light of a nearby lamp, and flinched as a hand appeared out of nowhere to touch my face.

"So you're awake." I didn't recognize the voice.

I blinked to clear my sight. "Where's Robert?"

"Being punished." I saw a shadow near the edge of the bed and tried to focus. "This wasn't supposed to happen."

I licked my lips. Did my canine teeth feel sharper, or was that just my imagination? "Who are you?"

"You can call me Jade. How much of that book did you read?"

"Nearly all of it," I whispered, too dazed to lie. "I was on the last chapter when... when someone..."

Jade laughed. "That would be Matthew. He's a bit... impulsive at times."

"Impulsive?" I struggled up and felt her hand on my arm, shockingly cold. My vision swam, then clarified. Jade's green eyes were the first things I saw. How appropriate. Jade green eyes.

The rest of her emerged from the darkness that shrouded my vision, until the entire room became apparent to my sight. Jade's glossy black hair swept down past her bare waist. She wore what seemed to be a leather bikini top and a pair of skintight black jeans. Her feet were bare and dainty, her lips painted scarlet. She couldn't have been more than four foot seven.

"I'll grant you that. Impulsive isn't the right word for what Matthew is. Stupid, perhaps, but not impulsive." She slid off the bed and stood in front of me, balancing on the balls of her feet. Her toenails were painted to match her lips. For some reason, I thought that to be an important detail. "How do you feel?"

I considered her question very carefully. So far that evening, unless more time had passed than I thought, I had found a forbidden book, read it, been attacked by an insane vampire and left to die, I'd been turned into one of the undead... how did she think I felt?

Jade must have seen something in my eyes, for she crouched in front of me and put one small hand on my shoulder. "Come on. Let me help you get dressed. We can talk afterwards."

"After what?"

"Just after." She shrugged. "Robert's the one who did something wrong, not you. Although if you'd left that book alone..."

I remembered the smooth leather under my fingertips. "I couldn't."

Jade sighed. "No, I suppose not." With no apparent effort, she pulled me to my feet. "Come on, then. Follow me."

She shoved me into a scalding shower, scrubbed the blood from my skin, and dried me off. I had no thought for modesty, and Jade did not seem to mind. In fact, I got the impression she enjoyed her job as my sitter.

"Your clothes were ruined, of course. Wait here. I'll find something for you to wear."

I sat on the bed with a towel wrapped around me, still too dazed to listen to the voice screaming inside my head. When Jade returned a moment later with a clingy blue velvet gown, I woke up enough to protest.

"I'm not wearing that."

"You have to put on a good face for the others," Jade said. "Don't worry. It's not a big deal." She held up the dress and smiled at me. I shook my head. The dress was lovely, yes, but it also had a slit up the side that would have reached the bottom of my underwear.

"I wouldn't be caught dead..." I couldn't finish the sentence. I was dead, thanks to Robert and Matthew. Suddenly cold, I folded my arms and faced Jade with what I hoped was a steely glare. "I'm not wearing that."

I won, in the end. And by the time Robert arrived, I wore a faded pair of jeans that didn't fit and a torn t-shirt advertising a haunted house from 1997. I couldn't do much about the bra and underwear, which were lacy and see-through in all the wrong places.

2002-07-15T11:35:00.000-04:00

Needless to say, the link over on the side that says "Email Me" is there to be used. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask. I notice my counter jumped up quite a bit last night. I'm not sure why.

2002-07-15T11:27:00.000-04:00

I don't remember when Robert carried me out of that basement crypt. I don't remember the mad dash through the streets to beat the sun. I don't remember the searing heat of my last sunrise.

I awoke in Robert's bed, naked, my clothes in a bloodstained pile on the floor. Panic swept in to carry reason away, and the next time I awoke, I lay in a heap on the floor, my entire body a mass of aches and pains.

I lay there for a while, struggling to figure out what had happened. The book. The pain. Cold air curled across my naked back and left me shivering. I couldn't think to save my life.

But once awake, my mind would not retreat into numbness again. And I knew I had to escape.

I struggled to stand, wrapped a sheet around my body, and stumbled to the door. The mirror that hung where a window used to be caught my gaze first, and I stared in horror at my body.

My face was a mass of black bruises and red cuts. Dried blood cemented my hair to the side of my head, and when I raised one hand to touch the specter that was me, I winced at the pain. I opened my mouth, checked my teeth. Found them present and accounted for.

Surprisingly enough, my jaw no longer throbbed. In fact, as I watched myself in the mirror, the bruises seemed to fade, until I had to blink to make sure I hadn't hallucinated the depths of my injuries. There were scratches and cuts over both arms and across my chest as well, but even they did not look to be as bad as they seemed.

I didn't understand. I couldn't understand. In the back of my mind, my subconscious had already guessed what had happened, but my waking mind could not handle the strain.

I took one step and fell to my knees.

"I'm sorry," Robert said from behind me. "This was the only way I could save your life."

I turned my head and felt a twinge of pain, as if I had slept with my neck in an awkward position. "What... what did you do to me?"

"Matthew did that to you. I only saved your life." Robert tried to smile, but his heart wasn't in it. "There wasn't anything else I could have done."

The book. Ah. Yes. My legs would not hold me, so I slumped to the floor, struggling to gather the shreds of my dignity.

"You..." I had to take a deep breath to continue. "You..." I closed my eyes.

"It's not so bad," Robert said.

"It's not so bad?" My voice rose. Fury quickly vanquished both pain and confusion, leaving me flushed and cold at the same time. "It's not so bad?!?!!?!!" This time, my legs did not waver when I stood. I gathered the folds of blanket around my body and glared at Robert. "What did you do to me?"

Robert paled and took a step back. I'm still not sure how he expected me to react, but I was obviously not cooperating. "You read the book, Josie. What do you think?"

I sank down on the edge of the bed. My vision swam. Fury drained away and left me spent and weak. I licked my lips. "You... It's all real, then?"

Robert nodded.

"You're a... a v..." I couldn't say it. If I said it out loud, it would be real. "A..."

"A vampire."

"And you..." The room started to spin around my head. I squeezed my eyes shut, but that didn't help. "You..."

"I'm sorry, Josie." I could almost hear the shrug in his voice. "I didn't want you to die."

For the first time in my life, I fainted. Robert told me later that he caught me as I fell.

2002-07-13T23:52:00.000-04:00

Part of me is very happy that there aren't many people reading this yet. After all, I've given nothing away, and proven nothing, so if one of my contemporaries (those vampires who believe humankind to be food) reads this, they cannot sentence me to death for it.

Not yet, at least.

The more I write, the more I want to tell everything; all the sordid details of my life as a vampire and what has happened to me since that fateful day. But as much as I yearn to write it down, I can't help but begin from the beginning, the day I awoke as a vampire.

I heard Robert's voice first.

"Damn! Damn! What did you do?"

A hand on flesh, but not my flesh. A slap. A muffled grunt. I tried to open my eyes, but something sealed them shut, leaving me in darkness.

A thump. A soft, choking sound. A wheezing scream.

"What did you do?"

A laugh, soft and cold. The sound sent shivers up my spine and awoke a tearing pain in my chest. I struggled to breathe and tasted blood in the back of my throat.

"You can't have the best of both worlds, Robert." A familiar voice, but I couldn't recall the name that went with it. "Human or vampire. Pick."

"This wasn't supposed to happen!" I remembered Robert. How could I forget? He had been the first man who seemed more interested in my mind than whatever looks I did not have. Our first conversation had been about books. Our last conversation had been about books too... One particular book.

Feeling slowly returned to my body. I felt rough wood under my cheek, and smooth leather under my left hand. A book?

No, the book. A bible of sorts, and one bible I should never have read.

Slowly, I remembered what had happened. The book. The cold hand that snatched it from my fingers. The angry blue eyes... the blood... a flash of fangs, a sharp pain in my throat... falling...

falling...

My chest heaved. I choked, struggling to breathe, and felt something tear as I tried to move. Pain pooled deep inside my body, sending flares of agony as I struggled to break free of the numbing paralysis. I tried to scream.

"Josie..." Robert's voice. Anguished, yet cold, as if he couldn't bring himself to care too deeply. I felt a hand brush across my eyes. "Oh, Josie. I never wanted this to happen."

"How touching. You're not really in love with her, are you?"

Robert's hand vanished from my face, but his efforts had loosened the cemented blood that held my eyes closed. My lashes tore as I forced my eyes open, but I ignored that small pain.

The first thing I saw was my hand, limp and splattered with blood. Under my hand lay a slim volume, also blood-splattered. The Handbook for the Newly Undead. I remembered picking it up. I remembered reading the first chapter with a growing sense of unease.

I remembered putting two and two together, and coming up with an answer I could not in good conscience ignore.

"Josie..."

"She'll be dead soon," the other voice said. "I suggest you bury her and forget you ever met the meddling bitch. You'll be better off without her."

Robert didn't answer. I tried to turn my head to see him, but I still could not move. After a moment, as my lungs strained for air and my vision dimmed, I felt fingers trace the contours of my shattered jaw.

"I never wanted this to happen, Josie. You have to believe me."

But I couldn't believe a word he said anymore, could I? I had discovered his secret; the reason why he never appeared until dark; the reason why he was so hard to find during the day. I had discovered his secret, and like the heroines in the worst sort of horror novel, I had to pay the price.

I wondered if it would hurt to die. After a little while, I decided I didn't care.

2002-07-09T22:08:00.000-04:00

I apologize for vanishing so soon after beginning my story. From now on, I'm going to try to update once a day and if not once a day, then at least three times a week.

I have two sisters, a brother, and two parents, all living. I have aunts, uncles, and cousins who have no idea what I have become, and don't understand why I can't come to the annual Fourth of July party anymore. I've missed birthdays and funerals, weddings and get togethers that normal human beings like you take for granted. I never wanted to go to these things before I became a vampire. Now... now that I can't... well, to be honest, I'd give almost anything to see the sun rise again and not have to take cover.

I was born. I grew up a quiet, book-loving child, content to entertain myself by traveling to fictional worlds. After High School, it only seemed natural to get a job at the local library, first as a page and then as a library clerk. At one point I have over two hundred books checked out on my card. It took me a month to read them all.

In April of 2000, I met Robert Beauchamp. Our courtship was a whirlwind romance. I had little experience with the opposite sex, and he swept me off my feet. Charming, witty, drop dead gorgeous... I don't blame my younger self for falling for him, but she could have had more sense. Why a man who could have had his pick of the single women in my town would chose shy, bookish me, I'll probably never know. Robert and I haven't spoken in nearly two years.

According to Robert, I wasn't supposed to become a vampire.

But I did.

2002-06-26T10:49:00.000-04:00

That's right. No one believes in vampires. And that's the only thing we have going for us. If humanity truly believed in supernatural creatures like vampires, don't you think we'd be completely wiped out by now? Oh, sure, there are still vampire hunters, and a handful of actual believers, but the majority of the human race do not believe in vampires, and never will.

I'm sure the handful of people reading this are already claiming I'm nuts, or that this is some sort of publicity stunt.

It's not.

To fully tell my tale (and since I'm sitting here in the apartment with the shades drawn waiting patiently for dusk), I'm going to have to go into the past a bit and give you some background. I wasn't born a vampire. I had a mother and father just like you, and two sisters, both younger than me. I'm not going to bore you about my early childhood, don't worry. You don't need to know about that.

I was born on August 13th, 1973. I died on September 28th, 2000. I was 27 years old.

2002-06-24T18:53:00.000-04:00

Oh, I know what you're thinking right now. Believe me; I've heard it all before. Let me take a stab at your skeptisicm before you go on...

"There are no such things as vampires."

That "ow" you just heard was me pinching myself. And since I exist or I wouldn't be blogging...

Well, why not? You've never seen a fairy before, and I can honestly tell you they exist. Some of them are annoying little buggers, but most of them are just as worried about how to pay your electric bill as you and I are.

Yeah, you heard me right. Not all vampires are drop-dead gorgeous rich dudes who live in bat-infested castles and drink the blood of virgins. For one thing, finding a virgin in this city is more difficult than you'd imagine. For another thing, having to be home by sunrise or burned to a crisp gets really old after the first week.

Dispelling the myth and legends is only one of the reasons why I decided to come out of the coffin, so to speak. Being a vampire's not all it's cracked up to be, and I'm going to tell you everything.

Yes, everything. I'm breaking the code of silence and Rule #1 in the Handbook for the Newly Undead*... Never Trust A Human. Of course the odds of anyone reading this actually tracking me down to drive a stake through my heart (works), expose me to sunlight (works) or chop my head off and stuff my mouth with garlic (works, but try to get the smell off your hands the next morning...) is fairly slim.

After all, no one really believes I'm a vampire, do they?

-------------------------------------
*The Handbook for the Newly Undead, by James A. Pierce, UhD. Don't look for this book at Amazon, folks. You won't find it. Every newborn vampire gets a copy, and when that vampire shuffles the mortal coil, their copy is recycled or destroyed. There have been two instances in which a copy of the Handbook somehow made it into a library booksale, but luckily the night guard saw it before anyone else did. (They shelved it in the fantasy section, too.) The oldest copy in existance was printed in the year 1814 and has passed through the hands of five hundred vampires. We may be immortal, but quite a few of us are too stupid to live forever.

2002-06-24T15:11:00.000-04:00

My name is Josie MacDonald, and I'm a vampire.

2002-06-24T15:10:00.000-04:00

I will have to do something about those ads, eventually, but I think I'm almost ready to begin...

2002-06-24T14:49:00.000-04:00

Oh, yes.

It's rather funny how these things become addicting. I'm supposed to be writing an expose, not spending the afternoon changing templates.

2002-06-24T14:48:00.000-04:00

Nope. This one maybe?

2002-06-24T14:46:00.000-04:00

Okay, how about this? Bear with me...

2002-06-24T11:59:00.000-04:00

testing, testing...